On a Summit-Attendee's View of the Bahamas

I'm not sure why I've gotten such a strong reaction about me being in The Bahamas.  It's an island.  Haiti's an island.  It's in the Caribbean.  Haiti's in the Caribbean. What's the diff?

Hee. I kid.

I'm here because I was sent an invitation to the Caribbean Regional HIV Prevention Summit by some US government agency.  Or agencies.  It's unclear.  No one, not even the USAID/Haiti officer I came with, knew what the agenda was or who was being invited or what a summit is. I was pretty sure that as soon as I got off the plane, I'd be bundled into a dark car and never be heard from again.

I'm still here.  I have spent a lot of time in a window-less conference room in the most over-priced Sheraton in the known universe (true fact).  I've had glimpses of The Bahamas.  Let me list what I know of it for you:

• The immigration form looked like it had been developed by a very eager and friendly tourism agent.  Similar questions as those Cuba asked, but without the sinister Big Brother feel.

• The road from the airport is lined with a trim lawn and flowering shrubs and trees.  Nary a pothole in sight!  My colleague from PSI Caribbean wasn't impressed.  Apparently all [non-Haitian] Caribbean islands look the same.

• Did I mention it's Spring Break?  I realized this when I saw packs of pasty boys in flip-flops, knee-length cargo shorts, polo shirts, and baseball caps along the road.  

• The Sheraton has a nice lobby/atrium.  It's a bit disconcerting to see people walk around in there with their shirts off or wearing just bikinis as if they were at a beach bar.

• On the first day of the Summit, they served us breakfast in a room next door to a very loud and joyful brass band.  And guess what?  It was the police band!  And they were playing in our conference room!  For us!  They played throughout the opening ceremonies (this being the Caribbean, it went on for a couple of hours).  Then the St Margaret's Senior High School Choir sang for us.  They were good!  Then the police band played for us while we waited for the US Ambassador.  Then they played when she left.  Then one of the guys got up and sang some hip-swaying, Caribbean ballad for us while the moderator desperately tried to call the Summit to order and salvage some portion of the morning for work.

• The Caribbean waters lapping at the white sands outside the hotel are, in fact, turquoise in color. True!  I saw them once when I went on my run/first-excursion-from-the-hotel today.

• The band by the pool is playing "Hot Hot Hot", that ubiquitous Caribbean song that you don't think you know, but you do.

On P90X vs Modern Dance

One of my new colleagues was a modern dancer in his previous life.  He and his childhood friend both trained at Alvin Ailey before dancing with other companies in New York and Paris and have now returned home to Haiti.  The friend has a dance company here that is the main source of income for the troupe - a rare thing.  They perform once a month.  I went to their pre-Carnaval show last night.

The space consisted of a small stage outside with a corrugated metal roof and some folding chairs for the audience.  When the show opened, the dancers were dressed in some homemade "folkloric" costumes with colorful prints of the map of Haiti and hand painted fruit. Simple stuff.   But from the first, the dancing was arresting, both in terms of how much fun the dancers seemed to be having, but also in terms of the level of energy:  The dancers never stopped.  It was the most unpretentious choreography I have ever seen. Not once did anyone throw themselves on the floor or pretend to run full tilt at someone only to be gently cradled like a baby.  None of that.  There was lots of hip rotating and jumping and even a Ra Ra band at the end.

I'm on week 8 of P90X, a 12 week exercise program that is hard enough that it may take me a few years before what I'm doing vaguely resembles what the people in the DVD are doing.  So, you know, I feel like I'm working pretty hard.  But these dancers never stopped moving.  I kept thinking about how much they must have to eat to keep that up.  I was impressed that they managed to lift their arms for the final bow.  And guess what?  After that two hour show, they were to head immediately to another venue to dance for one of the presidential candidates!

On Friendly Interactions

I've noticed lately that a few of my colleagues are now addressing me in Creole (instead of French or English) as a way of teaching me some basics.  It's not sticking, but I appreciate the friendly effort.  It's not all flowers and sunshine at work: on any given day, I assume at least two people think I'm the spawn of Satan, so I take special note of friendly interactions.

I just went looking for someone in another building and on my way out, I was stopped by three colleagues who tugged at my flowered skirt and black blouse and asked me questions in Creole - I had to guess:  was it "where did you get this outfit?", "why are you dressed up?" or something else?

What I did understand was "do you have kids?" followed by "do you have a boyfriend?" then more tugs at my clothes which I was given to understand meant that they liked my perky yellow heels and the way I was dressed and thought it was a good outfit for getting a boyfriend.  So, of course, I told them that I don't have a boyfriend, but ask me again at the end of the day!

Hilarious!  I am so, so funny!  Their throw-back-your-head laughter followed me all the way out the building.  

On a Little Tremor

The night before last, I woke up in the middle of the night to my bed shaking.  I lay there wondering what would prompt me to get out of bed and crouch in a doorway.  Probably a swinging ceiling fan.

The tremor was in the news but no one else seemed to have felt it, not even my house guest in the room next door.  Not even my earthquake alarm, which must also have been wondering at what point will it stir itself to do something.

On Nouveau Toddy

The other night, I felt the need for a nightcap on the terrace and without even thinking about it, I fell into an amazing, splendid, lovely hot toddy:

1 part very good tequila

3 parts hot water

1 tsp honey

juice of 1/2 a lime

I don't know if it was the Patron Silver that made it so good but I could quaff the stuff.  I slept like a baby.

On Good Value at a Party

There are a couple of guys who work for the French Red Cross who I was first introduced to at the Belgian bar back in January.  I don't remember much about them that night except that by the end of it they were lining up shots of rum, whiskey, and vodka, shooting them down, then asking for another round.  Being a highly sophisticated consumer of alcohol, I maybe judged them a little.  Maybe just a little.

Lo! and behold! We ran into those two the next night at a party.  They could easily be identified as the guys with their shirts off, dancing up a storm on the dance floor, each with a bottle of wine in hand.  Next weekend: same guys, different party.  One of them dances a bit like a strutting chicken.  The other is unabashedly sweaty.

And so it has been at nearly every party I have been to since.  The French boys can be found on the dance floor, shirts off, freaking anyone brave enough to come close.  They are so ridiculous and so disinterested in being taken seriously, that they are actually.....good fun!  I found myself looking forward to their antics and appreciating the energy they bring to the dance floor.

A rare shot of the guys with their shirts on.  Lord help us if they decide to turn up to the jazz festival this week.

My hats went off to them last weekend at a friend's birthday bash when they suddenly disappeared from the dance floor (shirts off, of course), only to return wearing cuffs with links and collars with bowties.  Heh, heh.  Good value, those guys.  

On Weekends

1. Friday night beers at the only place in the country where we can find Belgian beers.  Everyone walks in exhausted and worn out and walks out at the end of the night silly, relaxed, and ready for another week.

2. A house party thrown by an NGO.  This week it's Medicins sans Frontier, Handicap International, and some Argentinian peacekeepers.  I dance a lot here.  My favourite dancing happens before a shower.  Life is too short to shower without music.

3. Weekend guests.  My friends, Marcie and Maite (pictured) stay over most weekend nights and help me consume vast amounts of coffee on weekend mornings.  I am waiting for them to wake up now in hopes that one of them feels inspired to make omelets.  

On the Best Burger Ever

It can be found at Michael's Genuine Food and Drink in Miami.  Stacey and I went there in November and were so blown away by the burger that we wrote the chef a love letter:



When I was stranded in Miami in December on my way back to Haiti, I took my colleague, Emmanuella, there.  We had the amazing cookie plate (shout out in the February issue of Bon Appetit) and Emma charmed the bartender into taking a bottle of Kostritzer Schwarzbier home with us.

As we were crossing the street on our way out, a bus boy came running after us with the special and difficult to find matching glass!

On My First Haiti HASH

Lima Red Dress Run

Have you been on a Hash?  Google can lend a hand if you aren't familiar with the concept. The Hash House Harriers was started by British expats long ago, and have been an outlot for stir-crazy and fun-loving expats the world around.  Each Hash, the "hare" sets a trail with marks of flour for the "hounds" to follow.  There are false trails, special things you yell to tell people if you found the right or wrong trail, and beer stops along the way.

As a kid in Grenada, the Hashes were some of the best [and tiring] memories. The Hashers included serious runners, parents with kids on their backs, kids of various ages, overweight drinkers, and vaguely disreputable diplomats all following a trail of flour through cane fields, forests of thorn trees, mangrove swamps, pools of mud, and lots of cow manure.  By the Hash end [at a watering hole], everyone was muddy, sweaty, drenched, scratched up, exhausted, and happy.

The Haiti Hash broke up after the earthquake and just started up a couple of weeks ago.  I decided to go as much to stretch my legs as to meet other people.  I also dragged my boss along.  She started the Juba, Sudan, Hash.  We got thoroughly lost driving to the meeting place which didn't bode well for our ability to navigate the Hash but gave us ample time to appreciate the many hills of the neighborhood we were to Hash in.

I ended up holding up the rear of the runners instead of walk-running as I intended.  This was less because I was feeling hard core and more because I don't like hills and wanted to get it over with.  It was a fun group that managed to keep the Hash traditions alive without being too self-important about it.  We got back to the base after what felt like hours of running up and down hills and got to the rounds of Hash songs, penalties and salutes, all of which involved chugging beer.  It's all a bit cheesey and almost requires a certain amount of beer to make it fun.   Alison and I managed to dodge most of the beer chugging, but are determined that for the next Hash we will not have driving responsibilities or $47M proposals to hold us back.

I am sore.

On My Self Defense Kit

My friend, Sam (aka Ruthie), is an ER doctor in Flint, Michigan.  Flint is probably one of the most depressed and sketchy places I know of in the US.  It's going no where fast.  I'm not sure anything has changed since Michael Moore's Roger and Me.  Ruthie sees repeat gun shot wounds, junkies, drunks, and crazy/dangerous people walk through her door every day.

And she's worried about me.  

Let's be clear: Haiti is a dangerous place for Haitians.  There are kidnappers and armed burglars and gangs in the slums and cholera and  electoral violence.  But I am an expat with access to clean water and I keep my head down.  I am very careful and haven't felt the little hairs on the back of my neck go up in a long time.

Nevertheless, Ruthie is concerned about my lack of Mace, a gun, a machete, throwing stars, or any other implement of defense.  She told me she would be sending me something to redress the situation.  I received this: