On Starting the Year Off with a Little Reflection

It's January 1.  It's been almost seven months since I first arrived in Haiti and almost 12 months since the January 12th earthquake.  After seven months, I still don't know how I feel about my life in Haiti, which is unsettling.  Every time I try to think about it, my mind shies away before I can reach a conclusion.

I did a little compare and contrast table (Papua New Guinea vs. Haiti) this afternoon. The categories were culture, job satisfaction, social life, security, and food.  I made it to "security" and then I lost interest.  So here's the short version:

• Culture: Haiti is not as in-your-face as Papua New Guinea, but like PNG, a mix of supernatural and religious beliefs influence Haitians' world view, including how they think about disease transmission.  It makes my job more interesting to try to understand these ideas.
• Job Satisfaction: On paper, this is a dream job for me.  In reality, my colleagues' prickliness, unresponsiveness, and.... over-workedness make for maddeningly slow progress, catty e-mails, and lots of miscommunication.  We're always in a state of crisis, which is exhausting.
• Social Life: Just like PNG, there's no walking around outside for security reasons.  Every expat I know has a curfew, lives in group housing, and must use a vehicle pool.  Dinner and drinks are the most common form of socialization.  I have a handful of expat friends, but only a couple who I spend one-on-one time with.  Having internet at home is absolutely wonderful.  I can even stream NPR on the weekend while I make French toast.  My apartment is very comfortable with a huge terrace.  I work on my jigsaw puzzle, read, run up and down the stairs for exercise, and watch TV in French.  I'm hoping to start having more people over this year.  It will be easier once my shipping container with all my stuff is in my possession.  Last seen:  May 23.
• Security:  Sketchy, but I'm surprised it's not sketchier, given that over a million people have been living under tarps for a year with little evidence that their situation will soon change.  Those who can afford a gun, seem to have one, and kidnapping of rich Haitians is a problem.  The presidential elections have made the situation volatile.
• Food: It's expensive in the supermarket and even more so in the several high end restaurants in my part of town.  But eating is a quality of life issue, so I've stopped looking at prices.  The restaurants and the new supermarket near my house cater mostly to expats and well-off Haitians. 

When I got stuck in Miami earlier this month when Haiti was experiencing post-election violence, I was itching to get back as soon as possible.  After several days of cancelled flights, and escalating violence in Haiti, I realized that my primary reason for wanting to get back was so that I wouldn't miss the pre-Christmas dinner party I was supposed to host on the 9th.  My friends and I have been looking forward to it for weeks.  It made me realize how important something like a dinner party can be when there are so few opportunities to have fun.

Here's to hoping that 2011 is a better year for Haiti.  Better year for us all, really.